For the past several months, if you listen to the radio in Southern California, you've heard those ads for The Monitoring Centre (note the un-American spelling of the word "Center"), with the catchy jingle that spells out their offer for alarm monitoring services (24 hour service, 7 days a week for $9.99), and the annoying announcer lady who sounds like a cross between Edie McClurg and Lillian Zacky, the Chicken heir and spokesperson in her own, annoying right. But hearing these commercials over and over again, I heard something quite concerting; the announcer-lady pronounced the word "out" and "oot!" This piqued my interest, so I did some investigating. It turns out that this is, indeed, a Canadianist operation. But here's the rub: They're offering an incredibly low fee to naive, cost-conscious Americans as a ruse to get their foot in the door -- literally! They have to come out to your house to install the service, but who knows exactly what they're installing? Microphones? Mini-cameras? It's not beyond the realm of possibility that these Canadianist agents (disguised as alarm technicians) could easily install cannisters of some debilitating gas, that could be triggered by Ottawa at anytime, thus disabling a large percentage of Americans, so their horse-backed Mounties will be able to easily trot over our northern border and take America while it's asleep.
Wake up, America! The writing's on your wall (and on your radio).